Noah's smile

Watching my preemies grow and get stronger everyday from day one they have always had plastic on their face , yeah I seen both of them without it but, you get accustomed to seeing them with it on everyday it's a nessesicty actually! Noah's lungs are actually stronger then Nathan's. Nathan is still on half of liter but that's okay! Noah has had many trial and error sleep studies and as of last week the lung doctor gave the okay to take him off the oxygen completely! What a big milestone to accomplish I couldn't be more proud! The oxygen was him but now without the oxygen his smile shines brighter! 

March for Babies 2014

Today was the March for Babies walk in our area and this was the first tone we were able to bring our boys! Last year while the boys were in the hospital we learned about the March of  Dimes and decided to walk for our boys! I wasn't as emotional as I thought I would be, maybe cos the stress of having the boys out in public gives me some sort of anxiety! Today was nice and the boys had fun! People watching and they were all cute in the shirts that we designed!  
It was also nice to get out as a family! When you are stuck in the house all winter afraid of those germs,  you count down the days until those germs disappear for the season!  I wanted to share some of the picture from today's walk! 

Nathey and Noah one year old

I haven't been updating this blog in awhile with moving and the boys birthday party I just had no time! The twins are now 13 months old! Can't believe it! Their birthday party was a success and I decided to let them have a taste of cake! And they loved it! They were unsure at first butt loved it! They had their own special cupcakes, it was nice and very emotional for me! My boys came so fair! Noah has just been crawling and moving around and standing so much now! Yes standing pulling himself up now and Nathan slowly but surely catches up to his brother! 

 I can't believe how fast just in two weeks that Noah has caught on to standing with one hand crawling and pulling himself up, it was just like bam something clicked for him! Nathan though is behind his brother but not by far! 

Happy Valentines Day!

Little mustache bash times 2

 Can you believe it? 12 months from last March 24/25th is almost hear! The month of March is only a month away! As you all should know by now; by my many posts on Facebook about how grateful I am to have my boys! All the pictures that I finally decided to post! To the ones that have followed my story and to those who are sick of seeing my posts about my boys and how far they came! Actually it's not all about me or you, it's about them!  We'll they are going to be a year old! They won't be doing normal one year old things, eating cake and walking. I don't even know if they will be sitting up on their own just yet, but they will be the big ONE!  

  Looking back at all these months are still scary for me to look back on! The fear in the beginning to the drawn out car rides and ignorant people just trying to understand,but at the same time just making it all worse! To still not knowing why my boys came so early, to being excited and relieved when finally coming home after five months. The journey wasn't over, just part of it, like a new chapter in our book of hope and love and family times 2! Our journey after the storm! The boys individual journeys as people and as brothers! Specialist visit, doctor appointments and oxygen equipment are what our journey has become now as we watch my children grow! 

 Woo hoo! I couldn't be any happier to throw a big first birthday for my twins! My god I would have a blast! After all they do deserve it, but then comes the protector part of me the mom part that sais "no no, it's safer to have a small party with guests that our healthy" and then the joy of wanting to go all out kind of dims, but instead of dimming I decide on throwing a small little misters bash with mustaches galore! And a nice cake and decorations to match! I have to make this party the best for them! They deserve it, celebration on life and accomplishments for two special little boys!

Sidekick to a Superhero

What does every one expect a  micro preemie mom to be? A superhero that smiles and never sheds a tear?  That they are unstoppable, strong willed people? How can they do it all. Especially with twins on oxygen and monitors and doctor appointments galore! How can those parents maintain jobs or their sanity or their mortgage? What emotional toll has wandered into their souls?

  Life for me and my boyfriend has changed!  Being a women, you dream of a picket fence to go with your first house, a white wedding dress to wear when you marry the one you love for 6 years. We all want that don't we? My boyfriend and I bought our first starter home about two years ago and we love our house!  We decided to have a child and we ended up with micro preemie twin boys! And struggles for our new family have become of us, but as we saw our boys fight for life, we grew stronger and a family and couple!  People kind of expect that their opinions are the right answer! 

  I learned to stick up for myself, this quiet shy person is not going to let ignorant people get in my way or control me anymore! I work full time, and come home to two special needs children  that need me more than anything right now! Oh yeah I cry, I cry a lot! My boyfriend has been through so much trauma with the boys being born premature that it's affecting him in the present! I'm suppose to hold up the fort!

  Superhero you may ask? No but maybe a sidekick! My twins are my superheroes! They are the true meaning of  courage and all that fun superhero lingo! I'm just their sidekick helping them prosper!  Am I strong? Maybe in your eyes, but I am just doing the best I can do! How do I maintain a job? Just lucky on that subject, and lastly how can I maintain my financial security? I'm not! Living on paycheck by paycheck at the moment! 

 I found out though, life is what you make of it! You hate your job then change it, only if it was that easy right?  The battles we face make the person that you are and will or have become in this life! You are never alone in this journey even though their may be some dark times!  Someone out their loves  and needs you! You actually may be someone's superhero sidekick!

We are a little late,but happy NEW YEAR!

Let's bring in the new year.... Reminiscing!

This whole year has been a rough one emotionally, physically and mentally! My twins have been the biggest change in me! As a person who always sat back and let people walk all over me; I decided I can't allow that to happen no more! I been through what a lot people have not even stepped im. Pain, fear, sadness, happiness, every emotion! I have been through in the last 9 months!  Trying to maintain a mortgage, going to part time hours at work. Life through me a hard ball big time. And this road is not over just yet. This year has made me stronger.  Not just a bit stronger; more like been through hell and back twice stronger! Only a very few may understand what I am going through. This year I'm more grateful and blessed!

I got my button in:)

Noah finally got his button! Mommy and daddy couldn't be more excited! Yay for more tummy time! 

War with developmental milestones

Noah will be 9 months corrected age at the end of the month but his twin brother has surpassed him with tummy time and head control. Noah has been struggling. Don't get me wrong he sits up better than his brother and has better head control while he sits up but not on his tummy. Half of the reason is my fault and half of it is his temporary g tube that sticks out and hangs always tugging on him. He had bad reflux so we were always afraid to put him in a downward position. His gurd was so bad that even with his crib mattress being propped up; he would still projectile puke. Luckily his refulx medicine has managed it, but before his best friend was the bouncy seat!  He will probably sit up on his own before beating tummy time! Only time will tell!

Feeding a baby cereal is just a whole different ball park when you have a preemie child

Well today Nathan's speech therapist gave the clear to introduce cereal. I am one nervous momma. I don't want him to aspirateis food or choke. He already has a lot of saliva he chokes on anyway I just don't want to add another factor. We'll we tried the cereal, and he was so unsure about it! But what do expect when he had a tube down his mouth for three months when he was first born; it prolly is scary for him. The pictures say it all :) We will be trying the cereal at least once a day.

Preemie power.

http://pinterest.com/pin/224757837627038769/

In the christmas spirit :)

We'll we haven't even talked about getting a tree yet. We are debating if a fake tree will be best this year, but I was on Pinterest yesterday morning because I love all the crafty things and yes it's a plus being a daycare teacher cos all of the craftyness just comes natural to me. Today I decided to be brave and paint the boys footprints  and use the idea off a pin from Pinterest and wallah! Nathan and Noah first christmas art :)

Nathan's Art

 

Noah's Art

Life with special needs children due to prematurity

For the past 8 months life hasn't been easy but yet so fulfilling and miraculous. No one told me what happens when you get pregnant. Yeah I know what to expect with becoming a mom but to twins that need special care no one told me anything that my road would be this hard or the emotions that would follow. But what if it's not me that needs the help but someone else? How do you be strong for that other person? How do u try to help when the other person is so down on himself/ herself she/he does not want to listen?

Operation: weaning our oxygen

Yesterday was Noah's sleep study. He got to be off oxygen for about 30 min. He did very well actually while awake but when he started to doze off he started to bounce all over in desats.  I'm not going to get down about it it's a step in the right direction. Just like when we were in the nicu, the boys always had to do slower weans. It was nice to see Noah's face without the cannula. 7 months and all we know is tubes and more tubes so we come use to the tubes like its apart of the boys. Really that's all the boys know. I wonder if they feel lost without what is apart of them since they were born.

A poem for us. A poem for them.

Victory Dance: Nathan rolls over! (The crowd goes wild!)

Yup that's how it is in our household. Nathan finally figured out how to roll over! Another milestone completed. Both boys finally completed. Yay touch down dance!

Noah loves his carrier.

My monkey rolled over today

So every mom wants to see their children meet their milestones. I just take the twins milestones to a whole new level even if it means making my own touchdown dance! I guess its a preemie mom thing!? My monkey
Noah rolled over today boy I was happy; his brother is almost to the point of rolling over? But I want to ask are all you preemie moms in a way like me? Or am I just overjoyed? But hey my boys are alive and doing well. Heck yeah I'm gunna celebrate wouldn't you?

Meet Nathan

 

I'm Nathan! I am the little peanut of the bunch with a lot of personality. I been through a lot more then my brother and my nurses call me a true miracle cos of so many close calls and me beating all odds, but were all miracles! Me and my my brother give are parents a run for their money. Were hitting all are milestones slowly but surely. I weighed only 1 pound 12 oz at birth and struggled  with getting off the vent and being weaned of the nitric oxide. 3 months total on all that stuff. I was diagnosed with chronic lung disease and pulmonary hypertension, but its not stopping me from being a normal baby!