Last update untill after the holidays in regards to our Blessing Bottle ideas

https://www.facebook.com/nathanandnoahpreemieproject/

http://nottheformerthings.com/2017/06/03/what-i-wish-you-could-see/

When a one sided questionaire isn't enough!

I came across this article and I couldn't help but think this is so familiar. We need more education and awareness when it comes to parents mental health in the NICU setting. Most of the time a one sided questionnaire doesn't do alot of us justice. I also feel if mental health was talked about more parents wouldn't feel so emabarrassed to admit  their is something going on. Most of the time  parents are hit with overwhelming emotions while in the NICU which makes it 20 times harder to realize something is off with your mental health.  We need more in depth options to help families cope with the NICU as well as outside of those NICU doors. PTSD usually occurs or is noticed after  discharge and while families are home with the child.

http://m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/vicki-moore/slipping-through-the-crac_b_12774430.html

To those families struggling with ignorance

I feel you.

You are not alone!

Let's talk about #ADHD
Any other mom's out their raising #adhd kiddos feel this way at times? The ignorant  comments the judgement because your child is having an actual sensory meltdown but to others it looks like bad parenting skills? Or what about those people or even family members  who just can't accept the fact that your child actually has this diagnosis and then they just think its because the impulsive behaviors and  hyperactivity is because they are just"boys"? How do you all cope with  this ignorance? Or don't even bring up the word medication. In our family we believe to keep educating through awarness and being our twins voice  because most of the time family and or friends just don't  honestly understand. And most of the time people don't realize their comments can be hurtful.
Nathan and Noah have #adhd  typical parenting techniques do not work for Nathan and Noah which makes society think we can't parent are child or my children are just spoiled. ADHD  is not just not sitting still at it school desk. It can effect school life home life or your child may do well in school but home life is the struggle. ADHD looks different in every child. To tell you the truth my son can sit and focus on something when  he truly is motivated to complete a task and or project.  But most the time his brain has a hard time focusing on things going on in  the now.  The impulsivity takes over to where we can't leave him completely alone for even 20 min on hard days. We seek behaviors therapies because along with his ADHD at only 4.5 years old came along #oppositionaldefiantdisorder  and #anxiety. Not only do we seek therapy but we seek new coping strategies and have educated ourselves immensley on positives ways to go. #adhdprobs  #adhdmom #bloggermom  #momlife #twins #boymom #adhdawareness  #parentingblogger  #sundayfunday  #yournotaloneinthis #goodvibes #parenthood #invisable needs
Music credit: by DAN +SHAY  HOW NOT TO

NICU BLESSING BOTTLES❤❤❤❤

Come help us reach our book goal

Come help us reach our goal #nathanandnoahareturning5 #bloggermom  #twinmommy #momlife #bookstagram #helpusgrow  #helpusreachourgoal  #caring  #adhdmom #parebting #hospitals #lifeafternicu  #twinmomlife #boymom #donate
Books for Babies”
Please help supply baby books for the Rockford Memorial Hospital Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

When babies arrive at the NICU at Rockford Memorial Hospital, parents receive the gift of a children’s book.  They read aloud to their baby while in the NICU and when the baby goes home, they take the book home with them. In  honor of Nathan and Noah on their upcoming 5th birthday and  third NICU journey we want to give back.We would  like to help supply those books - over 400 babies go through the NICU each year.  Please help by bringing a NEW book (birth to toddler) that can be read to the babies in the NICU.
If you are wanting to help us reach our goal message me. Our goal is to deliver the book to the neonatal intensive care unit on the boys birthday  weekend this coming year March 24th/25th!
HERE IS the Amazon link if you want to go that route as well!
1 book can go along way!!👇👇❤📕📖📘
http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/3CSEEHR55PK2F

Amazon list: nathan and Noah's book drive

http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/3CSEEHR55PK2F Email Email

Testing a relationship when it comes to parenting special needs children

Did you know that statistics show that marriages end in divorce about 50% of the time but go up to about 80%/ 90% when couples are raising special needs children? It's unfortunate, but as a parent raising twin special needs boys I can see their reasoning.

 Everyone's  story is different. I am not married, but I have been with my significant other for ten years now and even though we don't have a paper legally binding us together. We both still share the same concepts on what Marriage is all about!  Marriage is hard. Raising children together is hard. We definitely hit many low points together, but what happens when you are a couple parenting a special needs child or two? Like us, we are first time parents who happen to be raising medically fragile/ special need twins. Many factors can cause a couple to lose sight of themselves individually when learning to cope and parent a child with unique needs. Besides, we all know parenting a typical child is hard. Parenting a child with unique needs is even tougher. Here is why I believe that.

1. When you become a parent of a child who is either medically fragile and or has special needs you automatically are in a new world. What you knew and thought you're life was going to be is usually changed drastically. For us, we were new parents effected by prematurity. Our twins came 15 week's early, because of that both twins  have developmental delays, lung disease and invisable special needs. They spent six months in the neonatal intensive care unit and it was not only the happiest time of both of our lives but also the scariest time. Alot of special need parents get thrown into this new way of life. They have no clue how to react to it. They just have to go with their gut instincts just like any typical parent,but most of the time it comes with a whole load more. For example, scheduling therapies, specialist appointments,  I.E.P meetings, to just name a few. Parents take on the role of therapist, advocate, secretary and  doctor all in a day's work. Parents may not know how to cope with this new way of life. Which can cause conflicts in many ways.

2.Parenting styles

Raising a child with unique needs may mean that the typical parenting styles that so many of us are educated on  may not work for that specific child. Frustrating the  divide within the family. 

3. Extended family/friends

When you become parents of special needs or medically fragile children the friends and even family  you confide in the most may not understand your struggles. You possibly may even lose  a few  mommy friends  along the way, because they may not understand that the play date you so want to attend is not doable for you're child. For instance, you're child may  have a specific on the dot schedule to keep. Alot of families feel isolated, because of that. Not to mention close family members trying to give unnecessary advice that may put a divide between you and your other half, because you feel the need to please everyone. This brings me to the two most important things I feel that go hand in hand when it comes to turmoil in a relationship when  parenting  children with unique needs and that is communication and stress.

4. When you are parenting a child and or children with unique needs the stress load is definitely there . You are trying to meet all those needs to keep your relationship healthy,but also are  trying to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders. Life keeps moving and you have to keep going for your kids. You want to give them the best quality of life possible. You can  OBVIOUSLY forget about keeping your relationship healthy.Parents have to face the outside world.  You still have to pay bills and many parents struggle FINANCIALLY when raisng unique children. Financial obligations can cause a lot of frustrations between a couple. Communication can be crossed without realizing. A partner may not know how to effectively communicate to their significant other when it comes to their son or daughters diagnosis or how to cope with the news.

 For my family all the things mentioned above we have experienced. Our twins who are now 4.5 have come along way but, as new parents we were lost in this whole new way of life. It took us a long time to accept the things we can not change. We accepted that our twins are not typical boys.As parents we eventually knew how to find the  right coping methods, skills  and supports.We had to admit we needed the help and admitting we needed the  guidance was okay.  We weren't  bad parents, because we couldn't parent our children the way society wanted. In fact, typical parenting   doesn't  work  for our family. It took  us to fall apart as a couple to accept that we will be okay unfortuntly. To aknowledge and communicate in a way that our stress doesn't come with anger. We learned that people will not always understand our life choices and ignorance will always be knocking on our door. We have always had love  for each other, but it got lost scrambled up with wanting the best for our children.Through all their medical needs we forgot what was really important. Finding self care and learning to work as a team helped us through all the low times as well as good therapy time to time. When though this life may feel lonely at times the only two people that know our struggles the best is us. We are learning to cope and we still learn new ways to cope. Do I wish I knew all this 4.5 years ago? Yes , maybe our outcomes would of been smoother. Maybe as parents we wouldn't have been emotionially hard on ourselves and each other. Just maybe, we would of accepted back then that just being okay is perfectly okay!