Life with special needs children due to prematurity

For the past 8 months life hasn't been easy but yet so fulfilling and miraculous. No one told me what happens when you get pregnant. Yeah I know what to expect with becoming a mom but to twins that need special care no one told me anything that my road would be this hard or the emotions that would follow. But what if it's not me that needs the help but someone else? How do you be strong for that other person? How do u try to help when the other person is so down on himself/ herself she/he does not want to listen?