Last update untill after the holidays in regards to our Blessing Bottle ideas

https://www.facebook.com/nathanandnoahpreemieproject/

http://nottheformerthings.com/2017/06/03/what-i-wish-you-could-see/

When a one sided questionaire isn't enough!

I came across this article and I couldn't help but think this is so familiar. We need more education and awareness when it comes to parents mental health in the NICU setting. Most of the time a one sided questionnaire doesn't do alot of us justice. I also feel if mental health was talked about more parents wouldn't feel so emabarrassed to admit  their is something going on. Most of the time  parents are hit with overwhelming emotions while in the NICU which makes it 20 times harder to realize something is off with your mental health.  We need more in depth options to help families cope with the NICU as well as outside of those NICU doors. PTSD usually occurs or is noticed after  discharge and while families are home with the child.

http://m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/vicki-moore/slipping-through-the-crac_b_12774430.html

To those families struggling with ignorance

I feel you.

You are not alone!

Let's talk about #ADHD
Any other mom's out their raising #adhd kiddos feel this way at times? The ignorant  comments the judgement because your child is having an actual sensory meltdown but to others it looks like bad parenting skills? Or what about those people or even family members  who just can't accept the fact that your child actually has this diagnosis and then they just think its because the impulsive behaviors and  hyperactivity is because they are just"boys"? How do you all cope with  this ignorance? Or don't even bring up the word medication. In our family we believe to keep educating through awarness and being our twins voice  because most of the time family and or friends just don't  honestly understand. And most of the time people don't realize their comments can be hurtful.
Nathan and Noah have #adhd  typical parenting techniques do not work for Nathan and Noah which makes society think we can't parent are child or my children are just spoiled. ADHD  is not just not sitting still at it school desk. It can effect school life home life or your child may do well in school but home life is the struggle. ADHD looks different in every child. To tell you the truth my son can sit and focus on something when  he truly is motivated to complete a task and or project.  But most the time his brain has a hard time focusing on things going on in  the now.  The impulsivity takes over to where we can't leave him completely alone for even 20 min on hard days. We seek behaviors therapies because along with his ADHD at only 4.5 years old came along #oppositionaldefiantdisorder  and #anxiety. Not only do we seek therapy but we seek new coping strategies and have educated ourselves immensley on positives ways to go. #adhdprobs  #adhdmom #bloggermom  #momlife #twins #boymom #adhdawareness  #parentingblogger  #sundayfunday  #yournotaloneinthis #goodvibes #parenthood #invisable needs
Music credit: by DAN +SHAY  HOW NOT TO

NICU BLESSING BOTTLES❤❤❤❤

Come help us reach our book goal

Come help us reach our goal #nathanandnoahareturning5 #bloggermom  #twinmommy #momlife #bookstagram #helpusgrow  #helpusreachourgoal  #caring  #adhdmom #parebting #hospitals #lifeafternicu  #twinmomlife #boymom #donate
Books for Babies”
Please help supply baby books for the Rockford Memorial Hospital Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

When babies arrive at the NICU at Rockford Memorial Hospital, parents receive the gift of a children’s book.  They read aloud to their baby while in the NICU and when the baby goes home, they take the book home with them. In  honor of Nathan and Noah on their upcoming 5th birthday and  third NICU journey we want to give back.We would  like to help supply those books - over 400 babies go through the NICU each year.  Please help by bringing a NEW book (birth to toddler) that can be read to the babies in the NICU.
If you are wanting to help us reach our goal message me. Our goal is to deliver the book to the neonatal intensive care unit on the boys birthday  weekend this coming year March 24th/25th!
HERE IS the Amazon link if you want to go that route as well!
1 book can go along way!!👇👇❤📕📖📘
http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/3CSEEHR55PK2F

Amazon list: nathan and Noah's book drive

http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/3CSEEHR55PK2F Email Email

Testing a relationship when it comes to parenting special needs children

Did you know that statistics show that marriages end in divorce about 50% of the time but go up to about 80%/ 90% when couples are raising special needs children? It's unfortunate, but as a parent raising twin special needs boys I can see their reasoning.

 Everyone's  story is different. I am not married, but I have been with my significant other for ten years now and even though we don't have a paper legally binding us together. We both still share the same concepts on what Marriage is all about!  Marriage is hard. Raising children together is hard. We definitely hit many low points together, but what happens when you are a couple parenting a special needs child or two? Like us, we are first time parents who happen to be raising medically fragile/ special need twins. Many factors can cause a couple to lose sight of themselves individually when learning to cope and parent a child with unique needs. Besides, we all know parenting a typical child is hard. Parenting a child with unique needs is even tougher. Here is why I believe that.

1. When you become a parent of a child who is either medically fragile and or has special needs you automatically are in a new world. What you knew and thought you're life was going to be is usually changed drastically. For us, we were new parents effected by prematurity. Our twins came 15 week's early, because of that both twins  have developmental delays, lung disease and invisable special needs. They spent six months in the neonatal intensive care unit and it was not only the happiest time of both of our lives but also the scariest time. Alot of special need parents get thrown into this new way of life. They have no clue how to react to it. They just have to go with their gut instincts just like any typical parent,but most of the time it comes with a whole load more. For example, scheduling therapies, specialist appointments,  I.E.P meetings, to just name a few. Parents take on the role of therapist, advocate, secretary and  doctor all in a day's work. Parents may not know how to cope with this new way of life. Which can cause conflicts in many ways.

2.Parenting styles

Raising a child with unique needs may mean that the typical parenting styles that so many of us are educated on  may not work for that specific child. Frustrating the  divide within the family. 

3. Extended family/friends

When you become parents of special needs or medically fragile children the friends and even family  you confide in the most may not understand your struggles. You possibly may even lose  a few  mommy friends  along the way, because they may not understand that the play date you so want to attend is not doable for you're child. For instance, you're child may  have a specific on the dot schedule to keep. Alot of families feel isolated, because of that. Not to mention close family members trying to give unnecessary advice that may put a divide between you and your other half, because you feel the need to please everyone. This brings me to the two most important things I feel that go hand in hand when it comes to turmoil in a relationship when  parenting  children with unique needs and that is communication and stress.

4. When you are parenting a child and or children with unique needs the stress load is definitely there . You are trying to meet all those needs to keep your relationship healthy,but also are  trying to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders. Life keeps moving and you have to keep going for your kids. You want to give them the best quality of life possible. You can  OBVIOUSLY forget about keeping your relationship healthy.Parents have to face the outside world.  You still have to pay bills and many parents struggle FINANCIALLY when raisng unique children. Financial obligations can cause a lot of frustrations between a couple. Communication can be crossed without realizing. A partner may not know how to effectively communicate to their significant other when it comes to their son or daughters diagnosis or how to cope with the news.

 For my family all the things mentioned above we have experienced. Our twins who are now 4.5 have come along way but, as new parents we were lost in this whole new way of life. It took us a long time to accept the things we can not change. We accepted that our twins are not typical boys.As parents we eventually knew how to find the  right coping methods, skills  and supports.We had to admit we needed the help and admitting we needed the  guidance was okay.  We weren't  bad parents, because we couldn't parent our children the way society wanted. In fact, typical parenting   doesn't  work  for our family. It took  us to fall apart as a couple to accept that we will be okay unfortuntly. To aknowledge and communicate in a way that our stress doesn't come with anger. We learned that people will not always understand our life choices and ignorance will always be knocking on our door. We have always had love  for each other, but it got lost scrambled up with wanting the best for our children.Through all their medical needs we forgot what was really important. Finding self care and learning to work as a team helped us through all the low times as well as good therapy time to time. When though this life may feel lonely at times the only two people that know our struggles the best is us. We are learning to cope and we still learn new ways to cope. Do I wish I knew all this 4.5 years ago? Yes , maybe our outcomes would of been smoother. Maybe as parents we wouldn't have been emotionially hard on ourselves and each other. Just maybe, we would of accepted back then that just being okay is perfectly okay! 

Do any parents feel this way at times?

As parents you want the best outcomes for your children. Starting elementary school is a big milestone and you start to wonder all the things parents typically think about when their child is starting kindergarten.  What about those parents raising children with unique needs. What runs through their minds? We have our twins in special education preschool at the moment and they will be graduating to kindergarten next school year but what scares me as a parent is if they will be accepted by their peers. Having a child or two with an invisable disability can be tuff when facing the social world and society. How would you bring inclusion into understanding and how will you prepare your little for full day school?

Meltdown or Tantrum?

When a smooth transition changes into controlled chaos

Never-ending thoughts of a special needs mom

Choosing to stay home with my boys was my choice the best choice I have ever made.  I have been fighting the urge to get back into the workforce but finding an early childhood job with no degree at this time in life isn't easy and on top of managing a full time teaching job with children who have multiple therapies,appointments, preschool and the unknown  can be very tuff to manage when living hours apart from any specialist appointments, therapies and hospitals that understand your child's development and health needs. Living in a small town has its perks,but what if you are raising a child with a chronic illness and or special need what would you do to make sure your child gets the best care? What would you do if you are tired of traveling hours for a 15 min appointment? Alot of families deal with these questions and make those drives to receive the nesseccities for their children.  Have you ever contiplated moving away  from family to live closer to better health care options  for your child? Do you feel it was the best decision?
A couple months ago I was offered an early childhood teaching position in Appleton WI & the scheduling works great for my family. A four day work week at a daycare is rare. Plus the Fox Valley area is improving and it happens to house the Wisconsin children's hospital as well as more opportunities of inclusion and good special education education.
I have been educating myself thouroughly on my options and the area. So many emotions and decisions.
#momlife #parenting #specialneeds #mommyfriends #boymom #lifewithtwins #positivevibes #deepthoughts #moving #lifewithboys #twins #bloggermom #instablog

Facing Ignorance

Managing stress (good read) 👇👇

http://www.thesensoryspectrum.com/manage-stress-ill-disabled-child/

Check this article out👇👇

http://pattch.org/resource-guide/no-typical-birth-nicu-experiences-and-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/

Preemie Power Goes Along Way In This Household

PREMATURITY AWARENESS DAY
To you Nathan and Noah who have showed me what its like to be strong when I had no other choice but to be. You to have showed not only me but others what resilience truly means. You have showed us a whole new way of life that I am blessed to be traveling on with you two. I may of not got to experience a typical pregnancy that comes with the joys of having newborn babies or be able to experience the joys that comes from being a new parent at first and all those things that come with those experiences and I can tell you this boys prematurity took away those things from me, but Prematurity showed me a blessing as well. It gave me a new sense of life and gratefulness, a whole new positive perspective on life and it has opened up my eyes to the things that others may never understand unless walking through the same path. I am truly blessed.
We have your 5th birthday coming up in a few months and this is a big milestone to celebrate because you guys deserve it. To think back at seeing both of you guys at 1lb 12 oz and facing all the negative statistics and working hard to show us you guys can accomplish all those things and not give up a fight is truly amazing in my eyes. I love you boys.

When transitions become a chore

Nathan and Noah have ADHD. For the  longest time we thought both boys were Autistic. We received many refferrals to doctors about it possibly being Autism. Turns out we were completely wrong. We knew what ADHD was. People would joke with me that I also had ADHD at times. Turned out that I was diagnosed with Adhd as well, along side my twins. See as parents we knew Nathan and Noah have a developmental delay we just didn't know Adhd was it's new friend and that Nathan and Noah have a form of ADHD due to brain damage from prematurity. After finally seeing a neuropsych up in Wisconsin we were able to take this diagnosis and understand it in depth. With the ADHD came a diagnosis of anxiety and possible ODD.As parents we were releaved that we found an answer and now can move forth with finding therapies and interventions that may possibly help our boys well being.  See the issue with Nathan and Noah is they are very academically smart. School hasn't been an issue just yet so the off days show more at home. School is structured and with being home the twins ;like all kids are in their safe comfortable zone. We were relieved by their diagnosis because now we can educate family members,strangers and ourselves. My boys impulsive behaviors are not negative behaviors and their were times where I felt my children's behaviors  were all because of bad parenting on my part,were just learned parenting techniques that didnt work for my boys. It felt like a lift was taken off of our shoulders. That maybe we were parenting the best we can for these two boys.  We just needed the extra coping skills and education to get to the best place possible for Nathan and Noah. We will always be judged while sitting at Applebee's when both my twin attention goes off into who knows where after 5 min of waiting to be served our food.  We will always have comments from others about how I can't parent my children or how naughty they may seem. At least as parents we can understand the ways to help them thrive. ADHD  doesn't just define who these boys are.Adhd doesn't have to be a negative thing to own up to. People with ADHD process things differently and that's okay in my book.
 Nathanand Noah will be referred to behavior therapy and as parents we will be learning coping strategies to help all of us work together to give the boys the best outlook on their education goals and life. The video above this, is myself showing what we use for routines in our house during transition times. For our family, our morning routine is always the hardest! We have good days and off days and implementing picture cards to our days  always have helped us ease into a transition. If you follow me on Instagram @raisingnathanandnoah we have posted a live video of how putting our clothes on can be a long tiring chore and sometimes the picture cards will not work for Noah if he gets into one of his moods. Today before school,was one of those days. It took  about ten minutes to help him just get his underwear and pants on. My advice to you is keep using a picture schedule though being consistent is a big big help when it comes to rasing children especially for Nathan and Noah. Routines will eventually start feeling less than a chore.   You can see my children's attention spans our very short at 4.5 years old. IMmplementing these cards have become a good way to focus on a task at hand.

Finding Medical Care for Your Twins in A Rural Area

Finding Medical Care for Your Twins in A Rural Area

Is This Normal? How the NICU Impacts Your Emotional Health

Is This Normal? How the NICU Impacts Your Emotional Health

You Are Not Alone

A while back I had the opportunity to talk with a good friend of mine about what life is like raising children with special needs and how living in a small town makes it harder  to find the resources available. Most of the time parents are traveling back and forth to get the best care for their children. I am no stranger when it comes to traveling to get the best care and I am sure we are not the only ones out their that feel this way.  15 minutes specialist appointment, but an hour long car ride to get to the appointment can be overwhelming and financially irritating at times. Living in a smaller town with less resources can make a family feel like they are being flipped flopped back in forth through their local health care system and therapies and referred out to bigger hospitals. Holding a job can also be a big time struggle for families raising children with unique needs as well.  The list keeps going on and on. Let me introduce you to my good friend Brenda Calderon she has a son who is Autistic.  a wonderful family but the struggle is real and its always good to have mom friends who understand you.

My Mental Health is Just As Important As My Physical Health

#MENTALHEALTH
Depression and Anxiety are not always sad days. Everyone deals with their own mental health differently. Be an open ear and do your best to just be a shoulder to lean on. Mental health needs to be talked more about its a serious part of a lot of individuals and families lives. My name is Lorrie and I have had social anxiety my whole life which has turned into severe anxieties and Depression after my twins were born severely premature. If i was able to understand the warning signs a lot better back then and actually took those little paper tests seriously while in the hospital, I may of have found help sooner than later. I also feel that males should be given the same choices opportunities and understandings after any birth especially a traumatic one. Prematurity and the Neonatal Intensive care unit can be a very traumatic place to be at. Many times its compared to a war zone with everything that occurs in that unit and what families are put up against, the decisions they have to make right on the spot, constant beeps and alarms, seeing other families go through it and seeing life and death all around you. I would not wish that on my worse enemy. Life after the Nicu for some doesn't just stop after discharge for others it keep going beyond that. For us, we still fight those beeps in our heads and our twins still fight, but in other ways now. I wasn't able to cope with my mental health for the past 4,5 years because of the struggles we faced. Doesn't make me any less of a person for that. My point is before you drop someone because you cant understand their reasoning, or tell someone they are being over dramatic, or get upset that they cant be their for you all the time. YOU MAY NOT EVEN KNOW THAT YOUR FRIEND IS STRUGGLING . Love them always no matter what , support them and be their shoulder!.